When Did the Texan Navy Lasso Cozumel?

Maybe you can’t blame a Lone Star Navy for trying. See after the Alamo, the Texans had better luck in their skirmishes with Santa Anna, stealing Texas out from under Mexico’s nose. The next year, the Texans kept hollering about Mexican shipping blockades. So in 1837, the Texas Navy steamed down the coast. Captain Johnny Tejano said to himself, lookee there if that ain’t the purtiest little island you ever seen! Co-Sue-Mel, wonder if that means anything? Them folks on shore are waving to us real friendly-like. Let’s stop here a minute, y’all. Anchor! I do declare, this place just feels like home. My my, President Sam Houston will be so proud. We’re gonna plant  Lone Star flag right here on the beach and give it a 23 gun salute. Woo-ee, what do you know, the folks here are clapping. See they’re hankering to be a part of Texas. And who doesn’t want to be a Lone Star, know what I mean? What the Sam hill? Houston wants no part of this? But, he ain’t even seen it yet! High tide or low, we’ll be back, Cozumel. We sure will. Shoot, and I wanted to stay here til the end of my days!

Embarrassing, but true events; Naval officer monologue invented.

I lived in Texas for 10 years, which inspired this short short.

I’m south of the border as you read this, planting the Wisconsin flag on a Cozumel beach… Just kidding, I’m just swimming by day and singing with the mariachis at night – too busy to conquer any territory but a hot tub. Anywho, the Wisconsin flag could use a makeover, Texas’ flag is much cuter. Don’t you just love satire? Yee-haw!

Gracias for reading Fake Flamenco! Olé!  –Rebecca

Texas Flag Platter Photo credit: Rebecca Cuningham
Rebecca Cuningham

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